Those children who are of sufficient years to sin and be saved by faith have to listen to the gospel and receive it by faith. And they can do this, God the Holy Spirit helping them. There is no doubt about it, because great numbers have done it. I will not say at what age children are first capable of receiving the knowledge of Christ, but it is much earlier than some fancy.

Some parents, like Eli, bring up their children to bring down their house.

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart; you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.

To the Puritans, family life was enormously important, for "a family is the seminary of church and state and if children be not well principled there, all miscarrieth." So "keep up the government of God in your families: holy families must be the chief preservers of the interest of religion in the world."

Remember children are born with a decided bias toward evil, and therefore if you let them choose for themselves, they are certain to choose wrong. The mother cannot tell what her tender infant may grow up to be tall or short, weak or strong, wise or foolish; he may or may not be any of these it is all uncertain. But one thing the mother can say with certainty: he will have a corrupt and sinful heart. It is natural for us to do wrong...Our hearts are like the earth on which we tread; let it alone, and it is sure to bear weeds.

And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

This tendency to overlook disobedience is frequently related to the emotional makeup of the parent. Some of us have what I call a teapot temper. A teapot temper is characterized by outward calm but inward turmoil. Outwardly everything seems fine, but inwardly a lot of little things are beginning to agitate and boil until finally a lot of noise escapes from that little hole in the top of the kettle. Suddenly we blow up and grab little Jimmy. We throw him across our knee and then really let him have it, giving him a spanking like he has never had before in his life. Somehow we think that that one spanking is going to make up for all the little irritating things that Jimmy has done throughout the day. But it just doesn't work that way. We have administered the rod, yes, but not any kind of correction. He can't relate the spanking to any of those things except, perhaps, the last.

Teaching Doctrine to Children

by Wes Callihan

The greatest responsibility of Christian parents toward their children is that of prayerfully teaching them about God and His Word to the end that they might be redeemed by His grace from sin to a holy life through faith in the person and work of His Son Jesus Christ. We want our children to be saved. Scripture commands us: "thou shalt teach [God's words] diligently unto thy children" (Deut. 6:7), and the example is set: "From a child thou hast known the holy scriptures" (2 Tim. 3:15). Most Christian parents recognize this responsibility and the necessity of discipline and training to enforce and apply the teaching, but many feel uncertain about how to proceed. There are several practical means of doing so.

Familiarizing children with the Bible itself is vitally important, and the best way to do this is to read the Bible to them daily. There are Bible story books available for very young children and translations that are fairly easily understandable for older children. By the time they are able to read, they will benefit from listening to the Bible read in solid translations, with the parents providing explanations and keeping childrens' attention spans in mind. Key verses having to do with ethics and basic doctrine can be memorized even by fairly young children.

Music is very important for Christians and no less so for children; families should sing hymns together, especially those with sound doctrinal content, for this is an excellent way for children to remember truth. Although hymns are not inspired by God, if chosen carefully they are excellent vehicles of doctrine.

The same can be said for creedal formulation such as the Apostle's Creed. Though not inspired, it is a good outline of Christian doctrine, and children as young as three years old can memorize it. Catechisms, especially those designed for children, fall into the same category they are not inspired and should be chosen carefully, but they are exceedingly valuable tools for learning and remembering doctrine in an organized fashion, and some excellent ones are available.

No one will object to teaching children to memorize Bible verses, but many oppose using creeds and catechisms because they are merely human inventions and because they can become simply empty knowledge. But we must admit that the same is true of hymns, yet very few evangelicals object to them. In fact, although we ought to make Biblical judgments about the content of hymns, we usually don't we are culpably uncritical about what we sing. And as for the charge of becoming empty knowledge, singing hymns and even memorizing Scripture can result in this; therefore, it should be obvious that it isn't the thing that is the problem, it's how we use it. The bad connotation for fundamentalists and evangelicals of the word "catechism" is largely due to the misuse of catechisms by liturgical mainline Protestants for the last hundred years or so and by the Roman Catholic Church for a millenium. A more understandable objection may be raised that young children won't understand much of the doctrinal content of creeds and catechisms. This is true, but not a problem. We teach children by rote many facts about mathematics, science, and history long before they can fully understand the implications of those facts because we know that they will be better equipped, when their minds mature, if they already have the facts ready to hand.

The great value of creeds and catechisms is that they enable parents to cover systematically the whole territory of essential doctrine, giving the child the framework into which he may fit the understanding he gains from Scripture reading and memorization. Furthermore, even though a young child understands little at first of what he is memorizing, the framework of words and phrases will be useful to him in recognizing error when he encounters it. My wife and I once heard the four year old daughter of a Baptist missionary say that "Jesus made the good people and the devil made the bad ones." I'm sure her parents never told her that, but I'm equally sure that they didn't diligently teach her doctrine, but rather assumed that she would learn it by osmosis; the result was that she had no "pattern of sound words which you heard" to protect her from unsoundness. However, suppose she had been taught in this way: "Q. Who made you? A. God. Q. What else did God make? A. God made all things. Q. Why did God make you and all things? A. For His own glory. Q. How can you glorify God? A. By loving Him and doing what He commands." If she had this pattern of sound words in her memory, she would have been able to recognize the error when it first appeared.

Scripture commands not only parents but children regarding doctrinal instruction: "Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father...for I give you good doctrine" (Proverbs 4:1-2). In order for our children to obey this, we must be obedient to God as well by teaching and instructing our children in sound doctrine.

Standards of Child-rearing

by Douglas Wilson

"I have a problem," Steven said.

"What's that?" Robert looked up from his coffee. The two were co-workers, and had decided to have lunch together.

"It's my kids. I've got two boys, both pre-school, and they are driving my wife up the wall. And, to be honest, she's driving me up the wall."

"How come?"

"Our standards are different. She has higher standards for the kids with regard to how they behave, and I have higher standards about what constitutes actual discipline."

"So she is frustrated with how infrequently you discipline, and concerned about how strict you are when you do?"

"Right. Listen, the reason I wanted to talk with you is because of your kids. They are older than mine, but whenever I am around them, I'm impressed with how well-behaved they are. Did your kids go through this stage? Will they grow out of it?"

Robert laughed. "Yes, my kids went through this stage. But the stage is not called the terrible two's. The stage is called sin. And kids won't grow out of it they grow more and more into it unless they are disciplined in a biblical way."

"Okay. I'm listening."

"The biggest problem with parents of kids your age is that the parents expect far too little from them."

"What do you mean?"

"They think that a two-year-old, for example, can't understand that whining is wrong."

Steven's eyes got wide. "You disciplined for whining?"

Robert laughed. "Certainly."

"But if we disciplined for whining, we would be discipling them all day long, every day..."

"...for a couple of days. Then the whining would stop."

Steven sat back in the booth. "Go on."

"This is what I mean by low expectations. You said that your wife had higher standards than you did, but neither of you have standards which are high enough. Because of that you both put up with behavior which neither of you like. After a while, you get to your boiling point, and wham! discipline occurs. But it is not effective discipline, because it is occuring far too late in the game. It is the disciplinary equivalent of a Hail Mary pass."

"So you are saying that a kid that age can understand the connection between the whining and the discipline?"

"Of course they can. Can they understand the connection between the whining and whatever it is they want?"

"Yes, they sure do that."

"So what makes you think that when it comes to what you require of them, they immediately become stupid?"

Steven thought for a moment. "You know, I really don't know. What you are saying is obvious. Why haven't we seen it?"

"I can't say for sure, but there is one strong possibility."

"What is that?"

"Disciplining your kids according to a high standard is hard work. Not doing it is easier. Postponing discipline until the crisis comes is easy on the flesh."

"Okay, I have two questions then. The first is, how do we set this high standard?"

"When it comes to attitudes and external behavior based on those attitudes, your standards for your kids should be the same as the biblical standards for mature Christians."

"You can't be serious!"

"I'm dead serious. You don't discipline for physical immaturity clumsy motor skills which result in a spilled glass of milk, for example. But everything which is morally objectionable in adults should be disciplined for in children."

"Like...?"

"Like rudeness, tale-bearing, whining, complaining, ingratitude, envy, temper, cheating, laziness, lying, name-calling, pride, resentment, stealing, and back-chat. For starters."

Steven was shaking his head. "My wife is not going to believe this."

"What was your second question?"

"How can you be sure this will work?"

"There are three reasons I am sure."

"They are...?"

"God, in His Word, tells parents to do it this way. According to the Bible, disciplining children works. The second reason is just common sense."

"What do you mean by that?"

Robert leaned over and tapped the table in front of Steven. "My philosophy of child-rearing is very simple. You are bigger than they are. If what they are doing is wrong, make them stop."

Steven laughed. "And what is your third reason?"

"I have seen it work. My children are all descendants of Adam, just like yours. They were no less prone to sin than yours. But we sought to obey God in how we brought up our children, and He has blessed it. We are very grateful."

"Yes, but..." Steven stopped.

Robert smiled. "I know what you were going to say."

Steven looked up. "What?"

"You were going to say that it is all very well for us, because we were fortunate enough to get good kids."

"Okay. But you do have good kids."

"But not by accident. Suppose a man has a garden, but he is knee-deep in weeds. He looks across the fence and sees his neighbor with nothing but vegetables. Can he say that it is all very well, but that his neighbor's garden doesn't have weeds in it? It doesn't have weeds for a reason."

Steven nodded his head. "Makes sense."

Robert leaned back and laughed. "Do you want to hear a story I heard once? It's a true story...a friend of mine and his wife were visiting his folks, who objected very strongly to the spanking of their precious grandson. Well, their little grandson got into trouble somehow, and was taken off to the bedroom for his spanking. When Dad came back, his folks just let him have it...'What do you mean, spanking our grandson?' But one of the reasons they offered for not spanking him was really revealing. They said he should not be spanked because he was the most well-behaved grandchild they had. That was quite true, but it was true for a reason."

Steven thought for a moment. "My kids aren't going to know what is happening to them."

"They'll catch on soon enough."

"This will involve lots of spanking."

Robert smiled. "Yes, it will. There were times when my wife spent the whole day with a wooden spoon in her hip pocket. But in the long run you wind up disciplining far less."

Steven leaned forward. "Okay, that brings up another point. Remember I mentioned that I had a stricter view of what constitutes discipline? Well, my wife has trouble spanking our kids. This sounds funny, but I think she needs spanking lessons."

"That is a common enough problem. But you can teach her. If you are taking responsibility for the whole area of child-discipline, I think she will respect your teaching in this."

"Well, I need help there too. What can you tell me about teaching her to spank? What are some basic rules of spanking?"

"There are four basic rules."

"Okay, what's the first?"

"Never spank in anger. Don't discipline for your sake, but rather for the child's. The discipline should be judicial and calm. This is one area where high standards help. High standards mean that you will discipline when you are not emotionally close to the edge. If you only discipline when your kids are guilty of some outrage, it is harder to control your anger."

"The second?"

"Discipline must be painful. It must not inflict damage, so use a flat wooden spatula. At the same time it must inflict pain memorable pain. Don't spank over diapers. Don't spank with a little tap, tap, tap. Teach your wife to flick her wrist when she spanks, and teach her to think sting. There are many parents who go through the motions of spanking, but they are not really spanking."

"How can you tell?"

"By whether or not the child's behavior changes."

"What is the third thing?"

"Spanking should be a time of instruction. The child should know what the offense was, and that the Bible teaches against the offense. They shouldn't think they are being spanked because they got on your nerves."

"And the last?"

"When the spanking is over, there must be a full restoration of fellowship. The child should be loved and held until the crying is over. Then you should pray with them; it should be fixed in their minds that God has used the spanking to cleanse them. They are forgiven; the subject is closed."

"Do you really think we can do all this?"

"I certainly know that you can. Because there is hard work and self-discipline involved, it is up to you whether or not you will."

"Thanks. I am sure we'll have questions. Can I talk to you again sometime?"

"Anytime."

Next month!

What does the Bible teach about church attendance, church membership, and how to listen to sermons?

Seeing the parental relation is what the Scripture describes it, and seeing Satan has perverted it since the fall for the diffusion and multiplication of depravity and eternal death, the education of children for God is the most important business done on earth. It is the one business for which the earth exists. To it all politics, all war, all literature, all money-making, ought to be subordinated; and every parent especially ought to feel, every hour of the day, that, next to making his own calling and election sure, this is the end for which he is kept alive by God this is his task on earth.

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

There is little hope for children who are educated wickedly. If the dye have been in the wool, it is hard to get it out of the cloth.

The life of religion, and the welfare and glory of both Church and the State, depend much on family government and duty. If we suffer the neglect of this, we shall undo all. What are we likely to do ourselves to the reforming of a congregation, if all the work be cast on us alone; and masters of families neglect that necessary duty of their own, by which they are bound to help us? If any good be begun by the ministry in any soul, a careless, prayerless, worldly family is like to stifle it, or very much hinder it; whereas, if you could but get the rulers of families to do their duty, to take up the work where you left it, and help it on, what abundance of good might be done! I beseech you, therefore, if you desire the reformation and welfare of your people, do all you can to promote family religion.

I pray you so live, that when you stand over your child's dead body, you may never hear a voice coming up from that clay, "Father, your negligence was my destruction. Mother, your prayerlessness was the instrument of my damnation."

He will also go before Him in the spirit and power of Elijah, "to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children," and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just, to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.

Well-ordered families naturally produce a good order in other societies. When families are under an ill discipline, all other societies [will be] ill disciplined.

The gentle rod of the mother is a very gentle thing, it will break neither bone nor skin: yet by the blessing of God with it, and upon the wise application of it, it would break the bond that bindeth up corruption in the heart.

We take care of our possessions for our children. But of the children themselves we take no care at all. What an absurdity is this! Form the soul of thy son aright, and all the rest will be added hereafter.

And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.

Credenda/Agenda is sent free of charge to all who would like to receive it. It is a publication of Canon Press, PO Box 8741, Moscow, Idaho, 83843.

Credenda/Agenda Vol. 3, No. 1