et's say you have read the last two columns of "Femina," you have even written a respect letter to your husband, and you are watching what you say about your husband to others. What now? Is there any more to respect than this? That's where we pick up this month.
We live in a culture that is becoming more and more disrespectful of, and downright antagonistic to, authority. Children do not respect their parents. How often have you seen episodes of disrespect and disobedience in the grocery store or restaurant? Students do not respect their teachers and principals. This is blatant among teenagers in America's government schools, but it is also evident among younger children. I have seen little kids holler disrespectfully to adults driving by or to older children walking by. Remember how you used to look up to the older kids?
Certainly the Bible is not respected in our culture; neither the church nor its pastors are looked upon with regard. Marriage, motherhood, fatherhood, and the family are not honored. Our governmental officials are not respected. Given the shabby state of reverence, honor, and respect in our country, how can women learn to render respect and honor to their husbands, and how can we teach our children to respect authority when there are precious few examples to point to?
The best thing we can do is look to Scripture to see how godly women of the past respected their husbands. We can look, for example, at Sarah, Ruth, and Mary, the wife of Joseph.
Sarah is mentioned in 1 Peter 3:5-6. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves [with a gentle and quiet spirit], being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.
It would seem odd to many modern women to call their husbands "lords," but the fact remains, that if we want to be Sarah's daughters, we must imitate her respect of, and obedience to, Abraham.
Ruth is another example of a submissive, respectful woman who trusted in God. It is clear from the biblical story that her respect of Boaz was something she brought into the marriage and not something he coerced from her. She rendered it to him because she feared the Lord.
Mary is probably my favorite example. Whenever an angel appeared to Joseph in a dream, off the two of them went. Not only is this a good example of submission, but it is also a good example of how God leads a family through the husband. Each time God wanted to move the family, Joseph got the message, and Mary trooped along. Think of what was at stake!
Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your
wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.
And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins . . . Then Joseph, being aroused from sleep, did as the angel of the Lord commanded him and took to him his wife . . . Now when they had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, "Arise, take the young Child and His mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I bring you word; for Herod will seek the young Child to destroy Him. When he arose, he took the young Child and His mother by night and departed for Egypt, and was there until the death of Herod . . . (Matt. 1:20-21,24; 2:13-15a).
This passage teaches us that God moved Joseph, Mary, and their Son through the obedience of Joseph, and the submission of Mary to Joseph. She obviously recognized his God-appointed headship, and she respected it.
But when Herod was dead, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt, saying, "Arise, take the young Child and His mother, and go to the land of Israel, for those who sought the young Child's life are dead." Then he arose, took the young Child and His mother, and came into the land of Israel (Matt. 2:19).
Even though Mary bore Jesus, God entrusted His Son to the care of Joseph. Now Mary could have questioned Joseph's decisions, but she did not. When they went to Bethlehem, in Bethlehem. This had been prophecied hundreds of years before (Micah 5:2). God accomplished His purposes through this godly man who oversaw the family.
God holds the father responsible for the family. A wife should, therefore, expect to get wisdom from her husband. God will lead the family through the husband, just as he lead Mary and her Child through the obedience of Joseph. When a wife understands this biblical principle of family headship, it can be quite freeing.
When I talk to a woman about a problem or a question, I often check to see if she has asked her husband about this first. In many cases, she has not. This makes a big difference in how I counsel her. I do not want to advise her in a way that does not recognize his headship. She needs to go to her husband, and see if he wants her to talk to me in the first place. Maybe he would rather she did not. God will honor this kind of respect.
Because the husband is responsible for the decisions of the family, a wife must maintain an attitude of respect and submission in communication. You are to honor your husband. He is not one of the kids or your younger brother! Take his responsiblity seriously, and he will begin to also. Give him your input, ask for his counsel and advice, and then pray for him. This will free him to be the man God wants him to be, and the man you want him to be.
When women love God and love their husbands biblically, men who have been reluctant to take leadership begin to feel the
weight of their responsibility. When the wife is seizing the responsibility, he does not necessarily feel the need to fulfill his obligations. And
women don't really want it afterall. If you are a daughter of Sarah, neither do you.
