he Present Condition
he Present Condition
Our time is characterized by men who are embarrassed to be men. We have, in our folly, wandered from the Bible's teaching on masculinity, and its central importance for Christian homes. We have sought, with all the wisdom of foolish men, to replace the hardness of masculinity with the tenderness of women. The results in our marriages and families, and consequently for our culture, have been nothing short of disastrous.
Men are bewildered with the world around them and with the responsibilities that a man of God should bear in such a world. Some meekly submit to our cultural rebellion against masculinity; others silently fume, not knowing what to do; others pay lip-service to equality as a means of exercising ungodly power over women; still others settle for the scraps. They do not think they have given up their masculinity. Do they not consume a considerable amount of time with cars, sports, and tractor pulls?
Background
The neutering of Christian men and the consequent distorted feminization of the family, church, and culture began in earnest in the last century when we abandoned the power of an efficacious gospel of grace and substituted religious sentiment instead. The efficacy of love was abandoned, and the sentiment of loving was enthroned. Men became impotent in their imitation of an impotent lord.
On the cross, Christ conquered sin and death, and ransomed a people to be called by His name. In short, the cross was efficacious, and the evangelical church bore consistent testimony to that truth. When the gospel is understood, when husbands imitate Christ in His love for the church as they love their wives, they undertake the imitation of an efficacious love.
But in the last century, the church slowly drifted away from this scriptural understanding of the cross. But for evangelicals the cross still had to mean something. And as a result the church began to emphasize the sentiment of Christ's loving instead of the efficacy of Christ's love. Softly and tenderly Jesus was calling, and evangelicals, en masse, began to leave home.
As a result, when the church exhorted men to imitate Christ's love for the church, they had nothing but sappy romanticism in mind, not an unshakable covenantal commitment.. One who has a lump in his throat may not be experiencing the power of God, but he still feels something going on. The years have passed in our culture, and we have discovered that the fruit is indeed bitter -- adultery, disrespectful wives, harsh husbands, divorce, rebellious children, abortion, sodomy. Still, we have not yet come to understand that the bitter fruit comes from a tree that we planted.
We must therefore recognize and acknowledge that our culture's current revolt against the Most High was one that began in the church, among those who professed the Lord's name. Husbands who do not imitate the efficacious love of Christ will see their families trampled as well. Over the last century, this is precisely what we have seen.
Failure of Non-Biblical Solutions
To the extent that we even recognize a problem, unbelieving solutions are of no help. They merely continue or reroute the rebellion. Marriage is not a contract; it is not a creature of the state like a corporation. We have no authority to tinker with it.
Marriage is a covenant made before the Lord Christ. Any solution for the problems of the family that refuses to acknowledge His Lordship over such covenants is a stiff-necked and rebellious "solution." In brief, non-believing solutions to the family problem are the family problem.
Biblical Solutions
A Christian husband must, then, before the Lord, renew or make some basic covenantal commitments.
He must first decide that he will thoroughly acquaint himself with the Bible's teaching on marriage, headship, and the family, and that he will gladly submit to it.
He will love His wife as Christ loved the church, giving himself up for her. He will assume the responsibility for her loveliness.
He will not place any responsibility for the spiritual, emotional, physical and financial condition of his household on his parents, wife, children, church, or society. He will assume, before the Lord, all responsibility for the home he represents before God, and he will pray for the grace to stand.
He will not allow his children to be taught, educated, or raised by men and women who live and teach in rebellion against God. He will remove his children from the government schools and educate them at home or in a godly school.
He will not take his wife away from her primary duties as a mother and manager of the home. He will bring her home to the children, the place God ordained for her to be, and he will encourage her in that vocation. He will establish her in the place where she can attain greatness.
He will not mistake the love for his wife that God requires of him with the counterfeit "niceness" that abdicates his responsibility for leadership.
He will teach his wife the Word of God, and together they will teach their children.
He will work hard so that his wife is able to clothe the family and feed the family.
He will be devoted to his wife sexually, treating her with understanding and wisdom.
He will set the tone of his home through his patience, reverence, dignity, kindness, and courtesy.
