April 3, 57 A.D.
Paul,
I must be honest with you; the elders here at AGNSRRC received your recent communication with considerable dismay. The dismay was heightened by the fact that the other churches here in Rome pretended not to see the problems. But why you would send such a misbegotten letter to us is beyond our imagining. You can rest assured that support for your upcoming "missionary" work in Spain will not be forthcoming, at least from this quarter. Your miscreant theology is not truly Reformed, and it is not biblical either, as anyone with half a pint of theological insight could see. We request that you take us off your mailing list immediately.
You made a show of hiding your rank Arminianism, but its pug-ugly heretical face was apparent to those of us who can look beyond the obvious. What do you mean by saying God stretched out His hands to a disobedient and contrary people ? Softly and tenderly, Jesus is calling, hey? You'll be introducing altar calls next! Say hello to Finney when you see him.
All the Reformed jargon in the world can't cover up those little comments you slipped in here and there. What do you mean saying that the Lord is rich to all who call on Him? Don't you know that God is the one who calls? Your teaching on the atonement was even worse. You said that as a result of the cross the free gift came to all men, resulting in justification of life . What's with this "all men" business?
Granted, to the uneducated reader, your letter looks Reformed. And you say you believe in election, and all the rest of it. This is what makes you so dangerous. But we know what your little game is, and we saw right through your buncombe about Pharaoh's hard heart, and Esau being hated. Nice try, Paul -- but you don't meet the standards for our ministry.
And one other comment. Apparently some of your small band of troublemakers has fallen into the sin of slander, as if compromising the doctrines of sovereign grace were not bad enough. We heard that Epaphroditus told someone tha t our elders were "not really Calvinists" (!) and that the real problem was that our "sandals were tied on too tightly." It is probably too much to expect an apology from such a young poltroon as Epaphroditus, but you at least used to be enough of scholar to know that laughter and mockery are not the same thing as refutation.
Any further correspondence from you, or from that impudent little neophyte Timothy, will simply be ignored.
Sincerely,
Pastor Demas, M.Div.
P.S. Diotrephes reminded me to have you remove our entire membership from your nefarious mailing list. We will not permit wolves from the outside to harass our sheep. From now on, they may only be taught by us .
