Volume 13, Issue 1: Recipio
One of the assumptions that modern Christians often imprudently allow to go unchallenged is our supposed hatred of sex. Like scratching in public, this is a vice of ours that we must quit. However, once we come out of the closet and announce to the world that puritanical truly means something 180 degrees opposite of what it has been used to signify, will we suddenly find ourselves arm in arm with the current nymphomaniacal culture? Okay, so we love sex, but are we contending that Solomon and Howard Stern are in agreement on this one?
When we flip the tables on our unbelieving culture, not only should we seize the proverbial high ground, but our enemies should surprisingly find themselves grazing in the valley of sex-haters. We should show them that they are the epitome of this puritanical label that they have been misusing. This shouldn't be a hard maneuver to perform because Paul has already told us they have been given over to "Dishonor their bodies" (Rom. 1:24). We are also given one specific hint as to what sort of dishonor they will be consumed with. They will forget the natural usage of the female body (Rom. 1:26-27). There is a natural sexual usage of the female body which pagans hate. This hatred of theirs ought to be pointed out quite frequently and laughed at.
But how can we say they hate sex when sex is all they talk about? We can say this because they are attempting to hide their hatred of sex by portraying their hatred as a zealous lust for the sexual. It's a slick move to hide your loathing for something by registering yourself in the fan club of the object of your loathing. For instance, a few years ago I had the opportunity to attend my first opera with a number of friends. For several days before the opera our conversation quite frequently drifted to the upcoming event. Each time it did so, a spirit of nasal sophistication seemed to instantly possess the members of our little group as everyone waxed eloquent on the virtues of opera. Being the initiate, I stood in silent awe, listening to the bliss that would soon be mine as a member of that select fraternity of opera-goers. However, on the night of Bizet's Carmen, I was surprised to see about halfway through the opera, a number of our friends getting up to leave. Their retreat was not driven by indignation at a poor performance; rather, they later confessed, sheer boredom. I then discovered that there are two kinds of opera fans - those who truly love the opera and those that can't stand the opera, but enjoy being known as opera fans. The latter will speak in lofty noble tones of Verdi but, if ever confronted by the real thing, will run for the tall grass.
This sort of duplicity drives our culture's obsession with sexuality. Pagans love the image of being sex crazy. Every passing girl seems to dress like she lives for the orgasm. Every sitcom punchline seems to derive all of its poignancy from a sexual innuendo. The female body, striking some sort of pseudo-seductive, come-and-get-it pose, plasters the glossy cover of every magazine in the check-out stand. And yet, they hate the female body.
In order to make this charge, we have to go beyond the first note of the opera. For those of us willing to stick around for the second and third act, what is the end result of a sexual union? Babies. Sorry to spoil the ending, but the truth is that sex makes babies. The female anatomy is designed the way it is in order to make babies. The purpose of sex is to reproduce. This isn't to insinuate that sex doesn't include many other blessings (the fact that God made it so incredibly enjoyable is certainly a testimony to His goodness), but the making of babies is the primary biological purpose of sex. Adam was given the command to be fruitful and multiply. But Adam wasn't equipped to fulfill this command until God made him a helper to aid him in his mission. Women were designed the way they were so that the human race could multiply. The sexuality of the female frame was designed to make babies. If this is so, then why do pagans, who claim to be obsessed with the female body, hate pregnancy like the plague? They are leaving halfway through the opera out of boredom.
Recently, our town featured a billboard that read "'Potty, Binky, Da Da.' Not the foreign language that you registered for." This witty slogan was explained in the bottom right corner - "Teen pregnancy isn't pretty." This past summer the local paper did a special on a year in the life of a seventh grade girl. One significant event reported was her health class where, in order to discourage them all from getting pregnant, they were shown a picture of the stretch marks that pregnancy had left on a former cheerleader. The pagan propaganda mill is dedicated to teaching us to despise pregnancy and pregnant women. The abortion industry is another obvious example of the same phenomena. They hate the end result of sexuality so much that they are supporting a billion dollar industry just to slaughter the resultant babies.
The pagan fascination with the sexual is a farce. A true puritan, that lusty saint whose love for sex is evidenced in the fact that he sat through the whole opera, revelling in each and every act, cheering and screaming for an encore of grandchildren and great-grandchildren, only a man with that sort of all-encompassing love for the beautifully fruitful female body can boast of loving sex.