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Volume 13, Issue 3: Cave of Adullam

Mutterings on the Regnant Follies

Condolizza Wheat

The company behind the golden arches, you know the one, is planning to release a new sandwich, the essential part of which will be comprised of cow lips.

And they will call it the McJagger.

Big Brother's Eyeball, Up in the Sky
A Florida-based company has moved to the next level in testing a product they call Digital Angel. It is a surgical implant which allows one's whereabouts and identity to be ascertained at any time by a global positioning satellite. Some Christian critics are opposed because this could be the mark of the beast (Rev. 13:16-17).

But they need not fret. Christians who think that way don't really need to be watched.

Expert Witness
ABC News reported that on the day Timothy McVeigh was executed, singer Bono of U2 managed to work a reference to the execution into the lyrics of "Bullet the Blue Sky" during a concert on the same day. Bono sang, "On a closed-circuit TV, before an invitation audience only, we watch as Timothy . . . runs into the arms of America."

Actually, we are really sorry about all this. We do not really know how to handle domestic terrorism. We need to listen to Irish sagacity more than we do.

Onward, Through the Fog!
A new study published by Science magazine indicates that Vitamin C can act as a catalyst in making a toxin that wounds a body's DNA. This in turn can play a role in allowing cancer cells to form. Until we find out something different.

Everybody, do what science says, right now! Your health depends on it! Then, twenty years later, stop it! Your health depends on it!

Andrew Sullivanism
After Rousas Rushdoony died, The Weekly Standard asked our own Peter Leithart to write a eulogistic piece, critical but not mocking, which he did, in which he described Rushdoony, among other things, as an "American original." On his website, Andrew Sullivan, media pundit and editor at the New Republic, blasted the piece as the most chilling piece of writing to appear in a mainstream publication in many a moon. He also described our small town as a hotbed of something or other.

For our part, there are some things Sullivan has written which aren't the most chilling things we have seen. There.

The Language of Shakespeare
The Daily Mail notes that Homer Simpson's distinctive D'oh is now part of the English language. It has been added by the Oxford English Dictionary.


Just Play the Game
NBA bad boy Allen Iverson was spotted in the recent NBA finals sporting a WWJD bracelet.

Okay. We need a new one. WWJRD. What would Jesus really do?

Elvis is in the Building
In a recent column, irked at liberal angst over the Supreme Court decision that Christian groups can in fact use government school facilities after hours, Ann Coulter wrote that it is high time that liberalism be declared a religion and posthaste banned from the public schools.

Clever, but the only problem is that liberalism is the religion of the public schools. Ms. Coulter wants the prince of Denmark banned from that Hamlet play.

The California Darks
We want no new power plants. We want lots of power. We want artificially low power prices. We want lots of power. We want environmental regulations strangling us. We want to breathe anyway. We want the country to feel sorry for our governor.

Ah, but nothing is green in the dark.

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