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Volume 14, Issue 5: Cave of Adullam

Mutterings on the Regnant Follies

Rory Borealis

Saved in the Mosh Pit
Teen Mania organizes national stadium events for Christian young people, and they have altar calls. In the world of American Christianity, nothing exceptionable there. But these altar calls are something else—"smoke machines, light shows, sports stars, and prayer."

We now know what Charles Grandison Finney would look like on steroids.

Know Ye Not That We Shall Judge Angels?
A quadriplegic man has sued a strip club in West Palm Beach because the lap dance room does not have wheelchair access, as he claims is required by the Americans with Disabilities Act. He also claims that the counter around the stage where the strippers do their thing is too high, making it difficult for him to see, or even to set down his drinks.

Why do we take these cases to court in this way? Shouldn't this have gone to presbytery first?

Congress Investigates Goth
The Congress, as in, Congress of the United States, has earmarked $273,000 for a Missouri youth outreach group to combat the influence of Goth culture. Goth is that subculture that tries to scare people with things like black fingernail polish.

Fighting Goths didn't work for the Romans. Just give up now.

The School's It
An elementary school in Santa Monica has banned the game of tag because it "creates self-esteem issues among weaker and slower children." The principal of the school said that children playing tag suffered "both emotional and physical injuries."

Clearly this has happened way too late. The school itself already labeled some of the differently-abled children as "weaker" and "slower." I smell a lawsuit here.

The Nubby End of Tolerance
The Reformed Church in America has (since 1980) allowed for conscientious objections on the part of their clergy who have scruples about participating in the ordination of women. The non-participants do not get to obstruct such ordinations in any way, but they have had these conscience clauses protecting them from actually having to do it. But of course, the march of tolerance is inexorable, and the RCA is now considering the revocation of the conscience clauses.

For ourselves, we draw the line at the ordination of barking seals.

Wait Up Guys!
A Christian catalog company markets (in the midst of lots of other Jesus junk) a tee-shirt that reads Abreadcrumb & Fish. Get it?

Remember that lumpy kid in seventh grade who thought he could become cool by hanging out with all the cool kids in ninth grade, laughing at all their jokes through his nose? Remember him?

Big Doings in Ohio
A helpful correspondent sent us word that some of his area churches had banded together to sponsor Impact 2002, that will have, get this, a band called 24 IDAHO (no relation), and Spiderman jumping from a fifteen-foot scaffold onto a trampoline. One of the Revs. involved with this said, "It will be better than wrestling at the Expo Center, that's for sure."

Critics there may be, but Spiderman is catching sinners just like they was flies.

Unequally Yoked
The latest catalog from IVP shows them continuing to circle the drain. Many things to comment on there, but one of the more notable is their publishing deal with Willow Creek, and their inclusion of large amounts of evangelifluff. Right alongside J.I. Packer.

Doesn't the Old Testament prohibit plowing with an ox and a poodle together, or something like that?

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