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Volume 15, Issue 2: Cave of Adullam

Mutterings on the Regnant Follies

Phil Donawho

The Great White Whatnot
A court in Saskatchewan has ruled that certain passages of the Bible can be construed as hate literature if placed in a particular context. The occasion for this was an ad placed by an evangelical corrections officer named Hugh Owens. The ad listed the references of Rom. 1, Lev. 18:22, Lev. 20:13, and 1 Cor. 6:9-10 alongside a graphic of two men holding hands covered by a circle with a diagonal bar running through it. Owens was found guilty (along with the newspaper that ran the ad), and was forced to pay 1500 clams Canadian.

Canada is (of course) one of our staunchest allies in bringing freedom and democracy to the rest of the world.

At Least Itís Not About Boys
According to National Review online, the Cardinal Newman Society recently published a list of 42 Catholic colleges that this year are allowing the performance of that perfectly foul play, The Vagina Monologues.

For those worried about the survival of the Reformational truth against the ancient neighborhood bully of Rome, no need to panic just yet. They have others things on their mind than justification by works.

Another Evangelical Elvis Sighting
According to Answers in Genesis, a t-shirt sported by a college professor at an evangelical college on the East Coast had the following inscription, and we quote, "Real Men Marry Pastors."

This has a certain degree of plausibility, considered from one angle anyway. Such men obviously need pastoral care 24-7, and probably need a pastor they can play snugglebunnies with.

The Wittenburg Doh!
The Door Magazine, which used to be The Wittenburg Door, and which also (by the way) used to be funny, still bills itself as "The Worldís Pretty Much Only Religious Satire Magazine." In what can only be described as a tragic case of magazine Alzheimerís, the back cover of the January/February 2003 issue was a full color, full page ad for . . . Homiletics Online. "Sermon prep—at the speed of light." Gone are those bad old days studying the Bible surrounded by those wicked old commentaries! At HomileticsOnline, you can get sermon ideas, illustrations, and headline tie-ins all with a "simple mouse click."

We console ourselves imagining what the Old Door would have done with the sales rep who tried to place this ad with them.

Check This Out
There is a minister guy who maintains a website (www.the dedicated to showing us multiple Bible stories from both Old and New Testament, and he shows these stories by means of lego sculptures.

We have no comment whatever. We donít care anymore.

Homo Heros
Marvel Comics is bringing the Rawhide Kid out of mothballs, and, as you might guess, out of the closet at the same time. The Rawhide Kid really likes the Lone Ranger. "I think that mask and powder-blue outfit are fantastic," he says. "I can certainly see why that Indian follows him around."

For ready money, you can get your aesthetic vision in a can.

All Our Taste Is In Our Mouths Dept.
A typical evangelical T-shirt catalog always has the usual crap in it, but occasionally they quit blaspheming the religion they are promoting and try to branch out a little, to see if they can sully something else. A recent entry in this field was a "Lord of the Kings" T-shirt. ďOne king to rule them all, one Son to find them, one love to bring them all, and one Spirit to bind them.Ē

Letís do a VeggieTales version of Lord of the Rings! And letís make Aragorn a carrot!

It Doesnít Ever Stop
The Federal Government, by means of the National Institutes of Health, is spending $147,000 dollars to study how women—lesbian, bisexual, hetero, whatever—react arousal-wise to sexually explicit videos. Inquiring bureaucrats want to know.

No, no, no, shouted the department head. I said corn subsidies!

An Italian?
If you want, you can get a copy of a twelve-week Visual Bible thingy. Actor Bruce Marchiano, who incidentally has a great smile incidentally, plays Jesus and teaches word for word out of the NIV. Over the course of twelve weeks, you can gather eager students of the Word and get them to break the second commandment for almost three months running.

For those still not sold, Max Lucado likes it.

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