Volume 15, Issue 2: Sharpening Iron
Some things are too big to be limited by such small and trivial walls
as purpose and responsibility. The cover of this magazine is one such
beast. Born of a fevered brain, it was assigned a task. Instead, it became
its own creature. Wandering the fields, you can hear this cover moan at
night. It creeps into barns to sleep, running from the voice of its master.
Our voice. It follows its own law, on a quest to scare small children and
the unsuspecting passerby of the coffee table. We expect women to hide it.
Or so they think. They are actually hiding from it.
It is not our fault. Curiosity killed Eve first, and many others after
her. We were just next in line. All we wanted to know was what
happened when a Thomas Kinkade bred with a romance novel. We were suspecting
a smallish mutt with odd coloring. We were surprised. It turns out the
two were more than compatible. Closer than members of the same
breed. Instead of a cheap, small, inexpensive sentiment that would behave
itself around the house, and never muss the carpet, the images met and begat
what could not have been anticipated. The child of their twisted union has
a name. Über-tripe has come into the world.
CRAFT MORECARONI #1
What is "Craft Morecaroni and Cheese?" Do you think you could
post a little history about this?
Nathan Wilson replies: Those happily out of the loop, please ignore.
Otherwise, a little while back a few gentlemen were declared to be heretics by the RPCUS down Southaway. Those gentlemen were my own father and editor, Douglas Wilson, John Barach
of the Great White North, Steve Wilkins, and Steve Schlissel. There was no
trial, or any evidence cited, simply a list of supposed theological offenses (in
some lovely prose I might add) and a call for them all be defrocked and
excommunicated. Point of squeamishness? Last issue's "Thema" (15/1) was a
classic example of their heresy.
CRAFT MORECARONI #2
It is beneath the calling with which you've been called to hurl
insults after insults or reviling after revilings.
You are to entrust yourself to Him Who judges justly. Duck.
The Craft Morecaroni ad was ugly.
Susan D. Becker
Editor's reply: Four men are hung without a trial with
accompanying demands that they be formally
declared as hellbound. We reply with box mac `n' cheese imagery.
CRAFT MORECARONI #3
As a longtime C/A subscriber, I am often at once delighted
and outraged at the articles that appear in your publication. In this past issue,
I was for the first time appalled. I am referring, of course, to the back
cover and to the more subliminal inside cover which mockingly attack
a brother in Christ, Joe Morecraft. I have for some time followed
the ongoing and unfortunate events between Joe on the one hand,
and Wilson et al on the other. And while I do not know all the details of
this feud, it is apparent that the process outlined in Matthew 18 has either
run its course, and you have concluded that Mr. Morecraft is to be regarded as
an unbeliever, or the process has been simply abandoned. My
understanding of that process is that it is to be undertaken with the goal of
reconciliation among the parties. If, in fact,
Mr. Morecraft has been unresponsive to your overtures (again, I don't know
the details), wouldn't your time be better spent working and praying for
such reconciliation rather than engaging in sniping and mockery? How can
such treatment of one's brother possibly be considered acceptable behavior
among God's people? I fear you do shame yourselves and harm the cause
of Christ by such behavior. While I appreciate your work and your
stand for the truth of God's Word, I implore you to repent of such
childishnesseven if your brother is dead
wrong. Grow up.
Newport News, VA
Douglas Wilson replies: Thanks first for the admonishment, and the spirit
in delivering it. While we do differ over the propriety of the ad, we fully
understand how these things can look from a middle distance, and we know it is
not pretty. But for the record, we do not regard Pastor Morecraft as an
unbeliever, and would be more than willing to come to the Lord's table
together with him. Thus far, an unwillingness to attempt serious discussion or efforts
at reconciliation has been entirely on his part, and yes, there have been
multiple private overtures on our part. And last, with regard to the substance of
your rebuke, we do believe that the Scriptures provide us with a pattern to
follow in such things. Our Lord compared teachers of Israel to blind
sight-seeing guides, pointing out the covenantal sights with their white canes. We, in
a much milder vein, compared the great Presbyterian un-trial to a bowl of
hastily prepared macaroni and cheese. In our reading of Scripture, religious hubris
ofthe type displayed in that travesty of a trial/investigation/whatever-it-was was ordained by a holy God in order to be lampooned.
As far as growing up goes, "unless ye be as little children. . ."
CRAFT MORECARONI #4
Ouch! I tried your recipe for "Craft Morecaroni." This
isn't something that just any "Joe" can stomach. I thought you would want
to know that no matter how much sugar you add to the Craft recipe, it
still comes out bitter (Prov 18:13). Not many "Southern Gentlemen" left,
I guess, sorry.
By the way, someone has got to give Doug Jones something to
do around that place! He has got far too much time to do the "research" for the "Cretan Times." He must be neglecting his wife and children for the
sake of his "work" (how do I get a job like that?).
Editor's reply: Sorry. We're not hiring any more heretics. Quota's full.
ENOUGH ABOUT MORECRAFT
. . . How come you guys missed the obvious in the "Cave of
Adullam" piece on RaptureLetters.com? Who did they hire to make sure the
letters went out after they were all raptured and what made them think the
left behind pagans would continue to send them out once they were gone?
Editor's reply: This is of course something that we have given
much thought. No doubt they hired someone with terrific assurance, and asked
them to sit at a computer with one thumb on the space bar until the rapture.
When the key is released, rapture emailing commences. There is the scent of
a terrific prank in the air. Raptureletters false alarm? All Christian
hackers should feel it their duty to get those letters sent out tomorrow!
AND BECAUSE WE NEED IT
Although my older sister, younger sister, older brother, younger
brother, father and mother all think you're mean, I don't.
. . . Keep cutting with, as well as being sharpened by, the Sword.
Editor's reply: Thanks. Can you get between our shoulder blades?
That's where it's itchiest.