Volume 15, Issue 6: Cave of Adullam

Mutterings on the Regnant Follies

Jeshurun Waxfat

Um, Collectibles
A thoughtful correspondent sent in a full page ad that had run, for inscrutable reasons, in USA Weekend. A short note was included, which said, appropriately enough, Good thing I wasn’t eating breakfast when I saw this or I would have shot Rice Krispies out my nose. The ad in question carries the banner headline On the Front Lines of Freedom. Right underneath that is a small fuzzy bear (actual size, 4 and quarter inches tall) in camo gear, helmet, and automatic rifle slung at the ready. Said bear is standing behind a small pile of small sandbags. This Salute to America’s Military Heroes is part of the line called Faithful Fuzzies.

Not Supposed to Point That Out
A high school teacher in Berkely, CA, was arrested for moonlighting on the side as a prositute. Because nothing much surprises us anymore, we were not surprised. But her feminist defense of said activity, as comparing favorably with the activities of Martin Luther King, Jr., did cause some eyebrow arching.

Making It Hard to Go to Hell in Tulsa
There is a Church on the Move in Tulsa, as you may have heard. In an effort to get 3,000 kids attending on Wednesday nights alone, they are moving into a new 6 million dollar facility, which will include an Internet and oxygen cafe, water bar, billiards, and state-of-the-art auditorium. Coming soon (within nine months, just like a baby) you can also expect to find a skateboard park, miniature golf course, swimming pool, and go-carts.

Ah, France
The Culture Ministry of France has announced a ban on the use of e-mail in all public ministries, documents, web site publications, and so on. The ministry is fighting a rear guard action against the intrusion of English terms in to the French lexicon. Instead of e-mail, the approved term is courriel.

Whoa
In Forest, Ohio, a visiting evangelist was preaching away at First Baptist Church, and in the course of his ministrations, he was seeking a sign from God. At this time, lightning struck the steeple. The lightning traveled through the microphone, blew out the sound system, and, shall we say, enveloped the preacher, who was not hurt. As one congregant put it, awesome, just awesome. The service then resumed after the incident, and continued on for another twenty minutes or thereabouts, until the congregation realized the church was on fire.

Gnosticville
A virtual congregation of at least 500 cybersouls recently logged on to an online broadcast of a church service. The Rev. Ian Bain used broadband technology from St. Philip and St. James’ church in Bath, England, and attracted over 500 people from around the world—Australia, Uganda, Hong Kong—in addition to the 170 lumps of intrusive flesh that were actually in the sanctuary.

Downhill, and Picking Up Speed
Thomas Nelson has released an edition of the New Testament decked out to look like a Cosmo type of magazine for teen girls. Called Revolve, it has three bronzed pretty girls on the cover, with article and section titles like Guys Speak Out on Tons of Important Issues, and Love Notes from God. Another is Beauty Secrets You’ve Never Heard Before.

Oh, Great
In a recent message, the pope committed the care of Europe to the Virgin Mary. He thoughtfully placed Europe in Mary’s hands so that it will become a symphony of nations committed to building together the civilization of love and peace.