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Volume 17, Issue 2: Cave of Adullam

Mutterings on the Regnant Follies

Jesse James Wilson

Extreme Cotton
A Christian T-shirt store in Kansas has the moniker Extreme Christian Clothing. The T-shirts they sell range from shirts with messages that are about as extreme as warm cookies and milk ("Got Jesus?") to those that actually are as advertised ("My God can kick your god's butt.")

As much as one hestitates to discourage this new-found confidence among evangelicals . . .

Always Thinking
A story out of Nairobi lets us know that there is demand for jet fuel on the black market there, because some entrepeneur has figured out a way to use said jet fuel for delivering a better kick in a locally-made alcoholic beverage. Speeds up the process.

This trick works with Calvinism too.

A Close Call
The American Enterprise reports on a dust-up of sorts over in Germany. It appears that the Bremerhaven Zoo over there had flown in four female penguins in an "attempt to encourage three male couples to start reproducing." The plan was abandoned when homosexual groups began protesting this "organized and forced harassment through female seductresses."

That's right. Blame the women.

Can't Trust Myself to Make a Comment
On a web site for some bloody fellow who specializes in "2nd Trimester Elective and 2nd/3rd Trimester Abortion Care," we were astonished to note the adverstised services of a chaplain. In his blurb, this chaplain explains helpfully that lots of religions let you get an abortion. However, all this is just the normal chutzpah. The kicker came with some of his offered services, which included "the celebration of spiritual sacraments such as baptism of the still born fetus and blessings for the aborted fetus."

What Did Jesus Smell Like?
An enterprising couple has taken some of the spices mentioned in Ps. 45:8, to wit, myrrh, aloes, and cassia, mixed them into a candle, and marketed it as a way to "smell Jesus" because, as we all know, we can't see or touch Him. They have sold thousands of this theological advance so far.

But what do we smell like to Him?

What Passes for Good News Nowadays
In the five years after 1999, the box office numbers for R-rated movies have plunged drastically. In 2004, for the first time in several decades, PG movies outgrossed R movies (and when we say outgrossed we are talking about the receipts). Of course, a movie that would have been rated R ten years ago would today be rated PG-13, but let that pass, claim victory, and let us rejoice!

This is like walking west down the aisle of an east-bound airliner, and claiming that you are too walking toward California.

Hearings in Congress Fodder
A news story notes that while discriminatory pressure is building on baseball and football players for enhancing their abilities through steroid use, some athletes are fooling around with nature and getting off scott-free. For example, Tiger Woods and other athletes have been getting Lasik eye surgery to bump their vision up to 20/15 or 20/10.

How is this supposed to help? So you can watch the dimples on the ball as off it sails?

"News of the Weird" reports on one estimate that as many as ten percent of Japanese youths may have a case of what are called "epic sulks." Said young people live permaently in their bedrooms as hermits (hikkomori), driven there by school bullies, academic pressure, unaccessible fathers, and so on.

If it were not for video games, their time there would be entirely unproductive.

A Moment of Silence
Could we ask you to take off your hats and stand silently where you are just for a moment? We would like to remember our dear friend post modern evangelicalism who is currently in the closet shooting himself.

. . . Ichabod. Thank you. It means a lot to us.

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