Volume 19, Issue 1: Cave of Adullam
Mutterings on the Regnant Follies
Herbert of Clairveaux
This last fall, several evangelical Christian schools in
Quebec were told by the the Ministry of Education that they had
to teach sex education and Darwin's theory of evolution or
Why shut them down? Just let `er rip. The fittest schools
should survive, if what they say is true.
A US biotech company has invented (if that's the word)
a different kind of cat. These cats have been selectively bred
to reduce the kind of protein in them that triggers
allergic reactions in people. The cats cost just shy of four grand
each, and there is a waiting list.
Now they should work on breeding humility into cats. What
about those people who are allergic to feline pharisaism?
Some Of His Beliefs May Have Leaked Out!
The Minneapolis Police Department suspended their use of
a Christian psychologist because of his past affiliation with
(sit down if you need to) the Illinois Family Institute. IFI
believes, apparently, that homosexual behavior is wrong, and
Dr. Campion (for that is his name) apparently shared
that opinionand went out of the house
with it. The primary fear was that he had allowed his personal convictions to
run around loose in his head while conducting
psychological evaluations of other people who did not share those
And as scholars of the First Amendment never tire of telling us,
we Christians have to keep our personal convictions wrapped in tin foil
inside a Tupperware container, frozen in the deep freezer of the soul,
whenever conducting any business that has anything whatever to do with the
public. So on behalf of social conservatives everywhere, we apologize for
the behavior of Dr. Campion, who may have (deliberately!) left the tin foil off.
From Da Da to Doo Doo
We believe that some of our readers might know
something about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Those who do
should schedule some time to visit with their pastor soon. But
for those of you don't, we're here to help. Tom and
Katie (TomKat in the tabloids) recently had their first child and
named her Suri. Okay, got that? Now comes a sculptor,
and the arts of Western civ continue to advance from strength
to strength. Said sculptie is named Daniel Edwards. He made
a bronze cast of Suri's very first bowel movement. It was
shown at the Capla Kesting gallery in Brooklyn.
How can sculpture be a literary irony at the same time?
Amazing what they can do these days.
Eerie Glow Inc.
Apparently there is a big imbroglio going with
Thomas Kinkade Co. and ex-dealers and owners of Thomas
Kinkade Signature Galleries, bemused by-standers, and the FBI.
There is a civil suit going and rumors of a federal investigation of
the whole shebeal.
The FBI here is the Federal Bureau of Illuminosity.